Our Adoption Story
July 7, 2023
GLORY TO GOD!
Children were born into this world, and their birth family could not care for them. God spoke to the heart of a family, and that family stepped into that gap, to provide love and care for the needs of the children. Adoption! Why does an adoption story capture our hearts the way it does? Because deep down, we all know that there is something missing in our lives. We know that we don’t belong or fit in on this Earth. There is a relationship we are missing. Until we understand that our Heavenly Father created us for a relationship with Him. Then we begin to know and understand our plan and our purpose. For those of us who have accepted Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we have been adopted into His family as His brother or sister, and as sons and daughters of our Father, the living God. Adoption stories connect with that deep part of us that understands that we are all adopted, and that we have a loving Father who accepts us in spite of our faults and failures. His unconditional love is one of our greatest needs, and He freely gives it to us. Thank you for reading our story, and may it be a blessing to your heart. May it remind you of your adoption story, or may it wake you up to the reality that you are looking for something. If you are looking for something, we invite you to cry out to God. Speak to Him, and listen for Him to guide you. Please send us a message and start asking questions about God. Ask yourself what it would look like in your life if you had a relationship with the living God. Connect with your Father and develop a relationship with Him. It is the only thing that can satisfy the longing of your heart. As you read our story, may you understand that just as God has a plan for our family of 7, He has a plan for you!
The Call:
On March 3, 2021, Amy had a dream about adopting. The word “adoption” would not leave her mind, and after praying for the Lord to take the thoughts away, her mind and heart were flooded with this desire even more strongly. She then had a vision of Luke and Jacob crossing the street to church holding the hands of two small African children. She immediately contacted Kevin and thought he would be shocked and overwhelmed by this sudden, strong, unrelenting call to adopt children from Africa. To her surprise he admitted that 5 months earlier (on October 3, 2020 to be exact) he also received a call to adopt! The call was strong, but it was out of the blue. He asked the Lord to bring the same desire to Amy if it was truly God’s plan for our family, so he held back discussing it until he received confirmation. It was so exciting and very clear that God was leading us to act on this right now!
At the time of the calling, we were a comfortable, happy family of 5. Our 3 children, Luke (15), Jacob (13) and Hannah (9) were very much in support of this life change. In fact, on the day we presented the plan to them, Hannah cried tears of joy and said “I never thought I would get the chance to care for someone like this.” She had always wanted to be a big sister.
Why Malawi?
Our call to adopt came suddenly, and we were off and running in order to act in obedience to this calling. From the very beginning it was clear to us that we were being led to adopt from a small country in Africa called Malawi. We have supported missionaries and have sponsored children from Malawi for about 15 years. We have numerous friends who have traveled to Malawi or who travel there routinely to help the Malawian people with practical needs and to share the message of the Gospel. Our heart has been to help this impoverished country for so many years, and now we were so excited to have an opportunity to connect with this country even more and to help change the lives of Malawian children in desperate need. Through an organization called Reaching the Hungry, we had a strong connection with an orphanage called Afriana Foundation in Malawi. We very much wanted to adopt children from this orphanage, but due to many circumstances, the chances looked pretty slim. Although we were disappointed, we proceeded with the adoption process and left it in God’s hands as to what children we would be matched with and where in Malawi they would come from.
How Many?
Our heart from the beginning was to adopt a sibling group in order to keep them together. We started off thinking we would adopt a pair of siblings. Not too long after making that decision we felt that if there was an older sibling we wouldn’t want to split them up, so we officially changed our request to 2-3 children under the age of 10. We emphasized that we wanted at least one girl so poor Hannah wouldn’t be so outnumbered. We were told repeatedly that adopting from Malawi was extremely difficult, so we researched, networked, prayed, and persevered!
Match Day!
On January 21, 2022 we received word that we were matched with 2 1⁄2 year old twins, one boy and one girl. Overjoyed doesn’t adequately describe how we felt that day. It was surreal. It was like we were floating through the day, most of the time with happy tears in our eyes. We realized that our calling to adopt from Malawi was for real! We could see God’s favor in this process, as our being matched with the twins happened extremely fast for international adoption. It had only been 10 months since we started the process. The other unbelievable thing was that out of all the orphanages in Malawi, these twins were living at Afriana Foundation! The very orphanage (and the only orphanage) that we had a connection with! As a side note, when Kevin and Amy started dating 20 years earlier, Amy got Kevin interested in listening to country music. One of our favorite songs at the time was “One Boy, One Girl” by Colin Raye. In that song, the couple had twins: one boy, and one girl. There is a line in that song that describes our feeling on this match day: “The doctor said ‘congratulations, twins’. For a moment the whole world revolved around one boy and one girl”. It was love at first sight for us, and we did not even have a picture yet.
The Plan
The next 6 months were filled with emotional ups and downs, as we waited for God’s plan to unfold. There were times when the process felt slow (based on our point of view). This time was marked by lots of paperwork, and hopeful anticipation. We held tight to the knowledge that this was God’s plan, and it would happen. The main Scripture that kept coming up for the twins was Jeremiah 29:11. We knew that God had a big plan for these twins. He had called our family out of our comfort zone, to do something hard, to change their lives and ours. The picture below is Jeremiah 29:11, posted at Eden Estates in Malawi, the place where we stayed during our time there.
TWO Sets of Twins??
After getting some initial information about the twins, we learned that they had twin siblings that were 7 years old (also one boy and one girl). The older set of twins were still living in their home village under the care of their great-grandmother. From the beginning of this journey we felt very strongly about keeping siblings together. We put in a request with Malawian Social Welfare to speak with the biological family and asked if we would be able to adopt both sets of twins in order to keep them all together. After planning and waiting and praying for 5 months, we finally received the heartbreaking news that we would not be able to adopt the older set of twins. Their family decided that they needed the older twins to help them and would not allow them to be adopted. We were crushed that the siblings would be forever separated and that we would not get the chance to provide the same opportunities for the older twins as we were going to provide for the younger twins. We proceeded with making plans for travel, remodeled bedrooms, and purchased lots of clothes, toys, plane activities, and books for our journey to Malawi.
9 and 1⁄2 Weeks in Malawi
Kevin and Amy flew to Malawi in July 2022 in order to spend some time bonding with the twins prior to the adoption hearing, which was scheduled in Lilongwe, Malawi on August 10, 2022. We arrived after 2 days of travel and went straight to the orphanage. We prepared ourselves for the twins to be nervous or stand-offish with us since we were basically strangers, but they yelled “Mommy! Daddy!” and ran into our arms as soon as we walked through the door. It was very dark and hard to see since the electricity was out (very common for Malawi), but Kevin and Amy walked around the orphanage carrying multiple children, with tears of joy streaming down our faces. We were able to get early custody of them (God’s favor again!) and they stayed with us from that time forward.
This is a picture of Elijah (left) and Eden, taken on the first night that we met them and obtained custody of them. They could not stop saying “Happy Birthday”. We later found out that they thought it was their birthday because that is the only time they ever saw someone receiving new things. On this night, they received new pajamas, blankies and toothbrushes. More than that, they received new names, and new identities as children of God and as part of the Mallery Family!
We had an opportunity to meet their biological family twice, including their older siblings, Jacqueline and Steven. Steven was in need of some medical attention, and thankfully Nicole from Afriana Foundation convinced their family to allow him to be taken to the nearby hospital for treatment. We were so relieved that Nicole said she would keep an eye on Jacqueline and Steven, and will help them when needed in the future. The picture, from left to right, includes Jacqueline, Steven, their great-grandmother, Amy with Elijah on her lap, Kevin with Eden on his lap, and their uncle pictured on the right.
Unfortunately, Eden and Elijah were not comfortable in the village and would not speak to or interact with the family members. We believe that they associated the family and the village with a time in their lives when they suffered from malnutrition and various medical problems. The family did the best they could, but the conditions in Malawi are very difficult for many of the people to survive. They need our help! If you are interested in helping the people of Malawi, check out the non-profits section of our website. It is filled with trusted groups that are doing great work to help the people of Malawi, such as Reaching The Hungry, World Vision or Y-Malawi. There are also other groups that do great work in other impoverished nations, to help people in desperate need, such as Christian Veterinary Mission, Compassion International, Not Today Coalition, Operation Mobilization, and PIEI.
Bonding Time
The next 2 weeks leading up to the adoption were filled with joy, laughter, fun and play as we got to know Eden and Elijah, these 2 beautiful children. There were also some difficult times, as they did not speak much English. They spoke mostly the native language, Chichewa, and they knew a few English words. They would run from us at times, and thought it was a game, but this made us very nervous when out in public. The great news is that they were very quickly emotionally bonded to us, and they very quickly picked up more and more English during the 9 1/2 weeks that the 4 of us spent together.
Meeting the other children at the orphanage was a huge blessing! They were all searching for someone to love them, and we were able to provide a few memorable moments of enjoyment for them and us. Pictured is Kevin and 2 other children, pushing our double stroller up a hill with 6 children in the stroller. This was a fun “ride” for the kids, and thankfully the stroller did not break. We would need it at the airport for the trip home!
Pictured here is Nicole from Afriana Foundation (far right), along with 12 of the ~20 children living at the orphanage. We are on the steps of the orphanage. Nicole is an amazing person who has selflessly dedicated her life to helping the children and families of Malawi.
Amy and Elijah enjoying some time on the lawn in front of the orphanage. We stayed at Hope’s Inn, next to the orphanage, for the first few days of our bonding time.
This is Kevin and Eden on the front porch of the one room grass roof brick house that Eden and Elijah grew up in. They lived there with their great-grandmother and Jacqueline and Steven.
This is the outdoor kitchen in Eden and Elijah’s childhood home.
Crying out to the Lord for help became real for us. The first two weeks were difficult because the twins did not understand very much English, and they had never been disciplined. This adoption was God’s plan, and we leaned on Him for strength, patience, wisdom, and perseverance to carry out this mission. It didn’t take more than a few weeks to pass through the most difficult part of the adoption process. The Lord was faithful, and walked with us through the entire process. At times He carried us, but He was always with us!
Adoption is final!
This picture was taken right after it became official. Hajira Chapata (on the left) became Eden Hajira-Chapata Mallery. Precious Chapata received his new name, Elijah Precious-Chapata Mallery. Kevin and Amy were so relieved and thankful! Unfortunately this was a stressful day. A few moments earlier that morning, during the adoption proceedings, their birth mother told the judge that she thought adoption meant that we would take her children for a few years, take care of them, and then return them to her. Judge Fiona Mwale called for a stop to the adoption proceedings, and we took a recess as social welfare met with the family. The family eventually understood what adoption meant, and the proceedings continued. This was a difficult moment on the journey, where we feared we may lose these 2 precious children. We prayed and leaned on the promise that God was in control of the process and would come through for us. And He did!
After the adoption, the ensuing 7 and 1/2 weeks were filled with delays over the passports and VISAs. There were times that we felt helpless, and times when we felt overwhelmed, but Jesus was there with us through it all. His mercy, grace and faithfulness were palpable daily to us during this time.
The Lord brought wonderful friends into our lives during our time in Malawi. He brought them to strengthen and encourage us. He brought them to show us that His love transcends culture, Christian denomination and language. From left to right: Tehillah Chinunga, Kevin with Elijah, Pastor Eugene Chinunga with Eden, and Pastor Eugene’s wife Jean Chinunga. We first met Pastor Eugene at Eden Estates when we stopped to say hi at his table. He was conducting a Bible study with the leaders from his church (Integrity Family Church in Lilongwe). We told him some of our story. He relayed to us that he was watching us play with the kids and told his leaders: “there is pure joy.” About a week later, we ran into the 3 of them and we sat and talked for about an hour. It turns out that their daughter Tehillah was in Malawi for a short period of time for a visit. She was in a PhD program at Emory University in Atlanta. That morning the family had been praying that God would help her. She was at a crossroads with her research and did not know what to do as a next step. Kevin and Tehillah started talking, and the area of research that she is in is the same area of research that Kevin is in! There are not many researchers in the world who are looking at the gut microbiome and its effects on cancer development and treatment. But the Lord decided to have us cross paths with the Chinunga family in part to answer their prayer and encourage Tehillah along on her research path.
Enettie (pictured here) is one of the amazing friends that God sent our way to encourage us and pray for us during our stay in Malawi. Amy and Enettie had been friends online for about a year prior to the adoption. She was introduced to us through Carlos at Reaching the Hungry and she and Amy connected immediately. She has twins herself and is a faithful follower of Christ. She was a prayer partner throughout our adoption journey and it was an amazing blessing to get to spend time with her in person while we were in Malawi. She insisted that her pastor, Prophet Aaron, come to pray for us after hearing that the visa package was not received by the US Embassy and we would need to resubmit everything and change our plane tickets for a later date. Enettie, Prophet Aaron, and a friend came to our Malawi house at Eden Estates on September 9, 2022. They prayed fervently for the rest of our process to be smooth and for the roadblocks in our way to be removed. These prayers were answered almost immediately! The rest of the process was incredibly fast and we were able to move up our plane tickets by a week!! It was nothing short of miraculous. “For from Him and through Him and for Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever! Amen.” (Romans 11:36 NIV)
Partners in Hope is the hospital where Eden and Elijah had their medical exams, so that we could obtain their VISAs. There were posters with quotes from 1 Corinthians 13 throughout the hospital. You have to love a hospital that is not afraid to share the love of Jesus Christ as they carry out their mission to bring healing to this world.
Meanwhile, back at home in San Diego, our 3 wonderful children were starting their first day of school, without us. For Jacob, Hannah and Luke, their smiles suggest one narrative: that they are having a great time living with Amy’s parents for the summer. And they did have an amazing time, showered with love and affection by their nana and papa. Without the help of George and Carol (Amy’s parents) there is no way this adoption could have happened. But the daily WhatsApp video calls showed us a slightly different story. As the weeks went on, with continued delays, the separation of us from our 3 children was taking its toll on us and them. They missed us as much as we missed them. None of us could understand God’s timing and purpose for the delays. But we were reminded that His ways are perfect, and we must trust that He has the best plan for our lives.
While we waited for VISAs for the twins, the Lord sent us reminders to remain strong and trust Him.
The Scriptures posted at Eden Estates were very helpful to us during our time there. These verses from Lamentations reminded us of His love, grace and faithfulness, as we waited on His timing.
We returned to the orphanage to visit with Nicole and to have Eden and Elijah see their friends. It was a happy reunion for them. We had hoped to spend some time talking with Nicole, but while we were visiting with her, the United States Embassy official investigating our VISA application showed up at her door to speak with her! This little miracle came after delays with our VISA application. We had waited 1 week for an update on our VISAs, only to find out that they never opened the email we sent with the application. We were devastated by the extra week delay. But, here we are 2 days after we re-submitted the application in person, and the investigation was happening before our eyes! Nicole went with the agent to find the Mom, and Amy and I took that time to explore the hospital where Eden and Elijah were born.
September 14, 2022. This is the Chapel at Nkhoma Mission Hospital where we prayed for God to open doors for us and make a way to get home. Kevin heard clearly that we would be flying home on September 22,2022
Innocentia (pictured here with Kevin), was our adoption lawyer in Malawi. Lord Jesus, we cannot thank You enough for leading us to her. She found these 2 precious children and matched us with them. She facilitated us getting custody of the twins from the moment we arrived in the country. She reminded us to pray and trust God when the twins’ Mom disrupted the adoption proceedings. Without her help, this process would not have been as smooth, and may never have happened.
One of the last things we did before heading to the airport was to say goodbye to our great friends. Through Pastor Eugene and his wife Jean, we were introduced to Bishop Dean Carelse (pictured here in the center). He is the Pastor of Shekinah Full Gospel Church in Cape Town, South Africa. He is a strong man of God, working hard to teach and show people about the love and peace that Jesus brings. And he has become a good friend!
We were home!!! September 23, 2022 we arrived home. The siblings met in person for the first time, and it was love at first sight. We expected to spend about 6 weeks in Malawi, but ended up being there a total of 9 1⁄2 weeks due to many unforeseen delays. We made connections with so many wonderful people during our stay in Malawi, and were thankful for the time we had to bond with Eden and Elijah and teach them English. The time apart from Luke, Jacob and Hannah was extremely hard, so we were overjoyed to FINALLY be able to come home. After 40 hours of travel (Malawi to Congo to Ethiopia to Ireland to Washington DC to San Diego – whew!), we had our memorable first meeting as a family of 7. It was amazing to be home with all 5 of our children under one roof!
First Christmas in America, celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!
Eden and Elijah have adjusted amazingly well and we are all so thankful that they will be a part of our family forever.
We know this journey was 100% God’s story. He planned it well in advance of our knowledge and He called us to act when He knew we were ready. We joyfully answered that call and we are blessed and privileged and excited to be a part of it. It hasn’t been easy, but nothing worth fighting for ever is. Thank you to everyone who prayed for us, encouraged us, and supported us through the ups and downs of this journey. We love you and pray this story brings you joy and hope.
Our story is unique, just as each of us has a unique life and set of gifts. God has an amazing plan for you and your life. We are excited to see what God will do in the lives of Eden and Elijah. We are excited to see what He will ask US to do next. But we want to encourage you and remind you that God has something incredible that He wants to do with you and through you. We want to encourage you to spend time in prayer, being still and listening for what He wants to speak to you. He WILL speak to you. When the thoughts and ideas come (and they will), ask God for confirmation of them so that you know you are hearing correctly. And then DO IT! Whatever that thing is that He is asking you to do, just do it. Don’t let your one and only chance at an abundant life pass you by.
Kevin & Amy Mallery
